I must admit straight off that I am terribly cross with you. Our dear J---- reports that you have been consorting with Fereldans and Qunari and yet I hear not a word of it from you! I can only surmise that either you have somehow allowed them to get the better of your wit—a prospect which fills me with the most dreadful astonishment—or that you have simply been keeping your exploits to yourself—which instead inspires in me the most wrathful sorrow. In either event I feel quite hard done by, and you know how much I despise feeling low in any way. I shall expect you to make it up to me on my arrival.
And now I find that you have been engaging in epic battles for magical treasures, while I have been here on my own engaged in furious combat of a far less enjoyable sort. Yes, I have been forced at last to try myself against the great mountain of grading, climbing for my life as desperately as we once did upon the cliffs of the Hunterhorns, clinging to the edge of my desk lest I be swept away, parchment fluttering about my ears as if in the most fearsome blizzard.
And were that not enough I find myself in the same moment locked in a yet another mortal duel for my intellectual soul with that duck-witted fustian bastard the Dean. In truth I do not know if I will survive this one, dear Val, but I am certain that when we each play our hand I will have some cards he did not expect. I shall keep them close to my bodice for now and reveal all when next we meet.
For whether it is in ruin or in triumph, I will join you both soon. I am too terribly jealous of your strange company and your magic cold rings. I must come win one of my own at once, or at least you must let me examine yours. I wish that you could bring it here and perhaps we could drop it down the back of the blighted Dean's blighted waistcoat and give him a chill and a fright. (He wore a particularly hideous one yesterday I think you would have enjoyed. I enclose a sketch.)
Since I began with scolding I must close with praise: your victory sounds positively glorious and as always you know that I approve of your vigilance in preventing J---- from spending too long at prayer. I am sure he will indulge you and give the Cold Ring the attention it deserves soon, if he has not already by the time you receive this. I hope to hear more reports of its abilities soon.
Alas that I cannot myself be carried by ravens. I must instead gird my loins for battle with the Dean, but I shall wish myself luck in it from you, as I know that is what you would want.
LOVE ALWAYS IN GREAT ANTICIPATION OF YOUR ARRIVAL YOUR FAVORITE VAL OF THE COLD RING COMMANDER OF COOKS WEEPER OF TEARS BELOVED OF FREDDIE, THE SUN, AND J, THE HOLY (AND SO BELOVED BY ANDRASTE BY EXTENSION BECAUSE WHAT FANTASTIC CREDENTIALS WOULDN'T YOU SAY)
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